Friday, March 26, 2010

My Crazy-Assed Rating System

My rating system is confusing, even to me. So far it's been simply the word or phrase I'd use in describing the book/series to a friend but that doesn't really tell you all that much if you haven't known me for quite a while. In the interest of clarity, I'll codify it here publicly, equate it to a five star rating system, and stick to the ratings I set down for future books.

  • Rating: Fucking Awful(0 stars)
  • Rating: Awful(0.5 stars)
  • Rating: Really Fucking Bad(1 star)
  • Rating: Pretty Damned Bad(1.5 stars)
  • Rating: Barely Worth Reading(2 stars)
  • Rating: Worth Reading(2.5 stars)
  • Rating: Well Worth Reading(3 stars)
  • Rating: Pretty Damned Good(3.5 stars)
  • Rating: Really Fucking Good(4 stars)
  • Rating: Awesome(4.5 stars)
  • Rating: Fucking Awesome(5 stars)
  • Rating: Jim Butcher(∞ stars)

If I talk about tiers, they go like this... Awesome to Jim Butcher = top tier/tier one. Buy them in hardcover because you'll wear out a paperback. Pretty Damned good to Really Fucking Good = second tier. Buy them, format according to what you can afford at the time. Worth Reading to Well Worth Reading = third tier. Buy them if you're out of tier one and two books you haven't read, probably paperback unless you just have a hardcover fetish. Barely Worth Reading = fourth tier. Skip these unless you're really hard up for something to read and even then go paperback so as to encourage the writer to do better next time. Really Fucking Bad to Pretty Damned Bad = fifth tier. Don't buy these. You might try reading them if you get them as a gift but don't expect to be able to finish them. Fucking Awful to Awful = don't even get a tier. They're either complete shit or terrible work by an author you expect top tier or second tier work from. Don't read them unless forced at gunpoint. Even then, the bullet might be kinder.

Hope that clears things up.


~The Mighty Buzzard

8 comments:

Tiffany @ KindleVixen said...

*snort* lolol

Jim Butcher is pretty fucking awesome. I have such a crush on Harry, I would totally leave my husband for him.

The Mighty Buzzard said...

Up until I started writing this, I would have said I was stuck on Murphy and Molly. After running through the cast in my head though, I want Mab. I'd so leave your husband for her.

Tiffany @ KindleVixen said...

I absolutely love Molly and her character.

The Mighty Buzzard said...

I should start a lobby for my favorite character anywhere in the series though. It's desperately in need of more Sue.

Katiebabs a.k.a KB said...

What if I don't like Jim Butcher? Would the book then be 5 stars?

:P

The Mighty Buzzard said...

Hmmm, good question. Either that or substitute The Mighty Buzzard for Jim Butcher. I take it as a given that everyone thinks I'm that awesome.

Katiebabs a.k.a KB said...

Why not? The Mighty Buzzard award goes to...

Or you could so a range of sparkly vampires ala Stephanie Meyer. The more sparkly vamps given, the better the grade.

The Mighty Buzzard said...

Invert that and it would make sense. At least to everyone who isn't a fourteen year old girl.